Stuck in a Rut

So...I'm homesick. I feel so empty. Hollow. For the first time today, I actually wish I could go home. I've missed people before now. But now, I wish I could go home. I know this is temporary and it will pass, but for the time being, the emotions are overwhelming. I'm struggling to find balance. Struggling to find ways here where I am right now, to feel like myself again, maybe not the same, but me.

I Know the Plans by Waterdeep

You talk of hating war
Where's your own peace time?
Don't love anymore
All my children...
You linger in your mind
Everyone's so unkind
You forgot about the mines that you laid in your land

I know the plans I have for you.
I know the things that I want for you to do.
I know the plans I have for you
And it hurts sometimes to see you blind

You read up on the lies?
Keep them in motion
So clever that disguise of devotion
You say that there's no time
But there you stand joking
You forgot that I'm the one
who weighs the words that you've spoken

I know the plans I have for you
I know the things that I want for you to do
I know the plans I have for you
And it hurts sometimes to see you cry

You talk of hating war
Where's your own peace time?
Don't love anymore
I know the plans I have for you
I know the things that I want for you to do
I know the plans I have for you
I know the things that I want for you to do
Plans to prosper
Plans to not fail
Plans for hope
Plans for peace
Plans for love

Peyote Song. Blessed Father

This is really cool (thanks Sudheesh) Ya'll should watch it:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RToysdJryKE

Missions is a two way street.

Today at CEREIMI, Pastor Rojas did a devotional for the kids. He said, as he's repeatedly said how grateful the kids should be for having me there, that I dropped everything in the U.S. to come here, blah blah. I do realize that he is meaning to be appreciative and thankful and had very good intentions, BUT...it's really not that big of a deal. I listened to God's voice and somehow ended up here. I didn't really "drop" everything to come here, this is just part of my life. It's not about "here" and "there." Furthermore, what about Erlinda (director), Luzmira and Miriam(kitchen), and what about the pastor. They are doing what they are because they feel led to do it, most likely. If a big deal is made about me, then the same big deal should be made about them. What they do is important too, even more so, b/c they aren't leaving in December. Is it because I came from the U.S.? I struggle with the image that the kids may have in their heads. I don't like the whole idea of the big, rich Gringos helping out the poor Chilean kids. That's bull. Yes, people in the U.S. financially contribute to the projects here as well contribute physically with the work teams that come every year. Relationships are built, broadening God's community, which is super important and a huge part of what missions is. But I feel like people here only see missions as one-sided, the U.S. sends and Chile receives. But missions should be two way. How awesome would it be to have Chilean young adults doing the Mission Intern program in the U.S.? Maybe Chileans couldn't contribute financially to the social institutions in the U.S. or maybe they could, but what would be MOST important is the spiritual contribution, as well as a non-U.S. perspective on things. U.S. congregations would benefit greatly as well as whatever social agency they would be placed in. How much could be learned, shared, experienced!

Here's some pictures from CEREIMI~we went to the beach today. The adult in the middle picture is Erlinda, the director of CEREIMI: