Just in case...

Just in case y'all thought I forgot about Brasil...Minas Gerais...Belo Horizonte...here's a little something that musically expresses a spiritual journey...

a poem remembered...

So I remembered a poem the other day, while reading a poetry book of Pablo Neruda. It's by Eduardo Galeano and it's called "Utopía." I first read it on a poster I bought from the FMLN office in El Salvador...

I'm not very good at translating, here's the basic gist:

Ella está en el horizonte. (She is on the horizon)
Me acerco dos pasos, (I move two steps closer)
ella se aleja dos pasos. (And she walks two more steps)
Camino diez pasos into the distance (And she walks two more steps)
y el horizonte se corre (I walk ten steps)
diez pasos más allá. (and the horizon runs ten more steps)
Por mucho que yo camine (For as much as I move closer...)
nunca la alcanzaré. (I never reach her.)
¿Para qué sirve la utopía? (For what then serves the utopia?)
Para eso sirve: (For this it serves:)
para caminar. (To Walk.)

Stuck in a Rut

So...I'm homesick. I feel so empty. Hollow. For the first time today, I actually wish I could go home. I've missed people before now. But now, I wish I could go home. I know this is temporary and it will pass, but for the time being, the emotions are overwhelming. I'm struggling to find balance. Struggling to find ways here where I am right now, to feel like myself again, maybe not the same, but me.

I Know the Plans by Waterdeep

You talk of hating war
Where's your own peace time?
Don't love anymore
All my children...
You linger in your mind
Everyone's so unkind
You forgot about the mines that you laid in your land

I know the plans I have for you.
I know the things that I want for you to do.
I know the plans I have for you
And it hurts sometimes to see you blind

You read up on the lies?
Keep them in motion
So clever that disguise of devotion
You say that there's no time
But there you stand joking
You forgot that I'm the one
who weighs the words that you've spoken

I know the plans I have for you
I know the things that I want for you to do
I know the plans I have for you
And it hurts sometimes to see you cry

You talk of hating war
Where's your own peace time?
Don't love anymore
I know the plans I have for you
I know the things that I want for you to do
I know the plans I have for you
I know the things that I want for you to do
Plans to prosper
Plans to not fail
Plans for hope
Plans for peace
Plans for love

Peyote Song. Blessed Father

This is really cool (thanks Sudheesh) Ya'll should watch it:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RToysdJryKE

Missions is a two way street.

Today at CEREIMI, Pastor Rojas did a devotional for the kids. He said, as he's repeatedly said how grateful the kids should be for having me there, that I dropped everything in the U.S. to come here, blah blah. I do realize that he is meaning to be appreciative and thankful and had very good intentions, BUT...it's really not that big of a deal. I listened to God's voice and somehow ended up here. I didn't really "drop" everything to come here, this is just part of my life. It's not about "here" and "there." Furthermore, what about Erlinda (director), Luzmira and Miriam(kitchen), and what about the pastor. They are doing what they are because they feel led to do it, most likely. If a big deal is made about me, then the same big deal should be made about them. What they do is important too, even more so, b/c they aren't leaving in December. Is it because I came from the U.S.? I struggle with the image that the kids may have in their heads. I don't like the whole idea of the big, rich Gringos helping out the poor Chilean kids. That's bull. Yes, people in the U.S. financially contribute to the projects here as well contribute physically with the work teams that come every year. Relationships are built, broadening God's community, which is super important and a huge part of what missions is. But I feel like people here only see missions as one-sided, the U.S. sends and Chile receives. But missions should be two way. How awesome would it be to have Chilean young adults doing the Mission Intern program in the U.S.? Maybe Chileans couldn't contribute financially to the social institutions in the U.S. or maybe they could, but what would be MOST important is the spiritual contribution, as well as a non-U.S. perspective on things. U.S. congregations would benefit greatly as well as whatever social agency they would be placed in. How much could be learned, shared, experienced!

Here's some pictures from CEREIMI~we went to the beach today. The adult in the middle picture is Erlinda, the director of CEREIMI:

CEREIMI pics

Here are some pics from CEREIMI. If you double click on them, you can view them easier.

March update...

This is part of what I wrote my fellow YAMs:

Hey everyone!
So I first have to say I still LOVE it here. It's kind of scary at how "normal" everything became, so quickly. I do miss my family and friends back home, like crazy but I feel I've adapted pretty well. I think a lot of that is because I feel more at home in Latin American cultures. But also because I know that God wants me here, for whatever reason...;)Trying to balance the different parts of my life has been tricky...and quite Chilean. I love the fact that my life is not at Gringo pace anymore, even if it may take a little longer to figure things out mentally and spiritually.

I like the church I'm going to. I like the people in it. The frustrating part is the sermons. My spanish has improved ALOT but when someone talks for a long period of time I space out and stop understanding. Mostly, this is because I can't ask questions and I can't ask them to repeat, and then I get lost. What I do understand is different than I'm used to. It's not that I disagree with what's being said...so far...:) but it's mostly about inner faith. Now, this may be my lack of understanding, but what I think is equally important to inner faith is acting out that faith, social action, and the local and global communities. Social action yo. What about some liberation theology? Why can't Dumbarton move to Chile, I really enjoyed those services. But anyway, like I said, I do like the church, I'm just not being challenged. Or maybe I'm not listening...

I started with the project I'll be working with, CEREIMI. We just completed our second week. I'm in love with the kids. We have about 24 kids right now but it'll probably get bigger with time. I'll write more about them as I get to know the kids. As for my job, I basically have the freedom to do whatever I want to with them, after they eat. It's really laid back right now and will probably continue to be but I hope to have more activities for them. It's a little tricky to plan for because I don't buy the supplies so if I, for example, wanted to paint Easter eggs on Monday, I would've had to assume that they will be bought and cooked by then. But of course they weren't so we ended up doing that activity on Wednesday. Also, the kids trickle in at different times each day. So I basically have to plan things in a very flexible way, which is actually fine for me, it's less stress. And I love a relaxed atmosphere with kids, it allows me to get to know them faster and more intimately.

Feb update

This is part of an update I sent to the others in my program. Sorry if it is repeating information I've said before:

Everything is going well. I'm finding myself falling in love with Iquique and very aware that God has a reason for me to be here. I'm trying to stay open to that.

I haven't actually started working yet. I'm going to be doing programming for an after-school program called SEREIMI, but it doesn't start until March b/c the kids are in their summer break right now. So, in the meantime, I've been attending the church that hosts SEREIMI.. It's more conservative (theologically) than I'm used to, but I love the people and am focusing on building relationships. There are two gringo volunteers here building windows for a new church building, so I go eat lunch with them a few times a week which is prepared by church members. That has enabled me to build relationships with the Gringos as well as the church members. I've also helped at the work site with painting and other things.

I've been taking Spanish lessons three times a week which has been a HUGE help since I'd been preparing to speak Portuguese. And my Spanish teacher is not from Iquique or Chile but she's lived here for eleven years so she's able to teach me a lot "Chilenismos" and other cultural things that have helped with my adapting, since she had to learn them too.

I've been trying to get to know the area better, now that my Spanish is improving. I've been "shown" around, but I feel much more comfortable venturing out on my own now. I can actually give a taxi driver directions verbally and answer their questions for clarification which is a huge accomplishment b/c it requires understanding them, and Chileans talk fast. And I'm starting to get used to tuning out the whistling, horn honking, and commenting of Chilean men as I walk down the street. I even know what those slang comments mean now thanks to some of the people from church giving me a class on "Chilenismos" (words used only in Chile).

Social life is picking up. I've been hanging out with some of the young adults from church. I also hang out at Becky's house a lot. She's my supervisor-UM Missionary person. She's been a huge support and is a really cool person.

I've been living with an elderly guy from church-renting a room-for the month of February. I just got an apartment! I'll be moving in for March. I will be traveling with Becky to Santiago Feb. 27-March 2 for a conference on the Social Institutions of the Chilean Methodist Church. Please keep us in your prayers as we travel.

That's all for now. Stay tuned for more. Love you all!

lets see how much I can write about taxis...

So here in Iquique there are a few ways to get around if you don't have a car. One is the Micro, which is the bus. I haven't tried to use that yet. Most people use taxis. There are two types of taxis. One is a called a "colectivo," and the other is the "Radio Taxi." Colectivos are cheaper (about a dollar) and you have to flag them down. I've been advised not to take them alone at night but they are fine during the day. I think they get paid per customer maybe, because they are very eager to pick people up. For example, when I'm walking down the street, colectivos will beep or flash their lights at me to see if I need them to stop. Sometimes though, it takes a bit to find a driver going where you want to go. One time I was going fifteen minutes across the city and I had to ask five different drivers before I got someone who was going in that direction.

To get a "radio taxi," you call a number, tell them where you are and then they send a someone to get you. Radio taxis cost 2-3 dollars. I have used these a lot because I usually need a taxi at night-I walk a lot during the day. I think these drivers are on a salary. There's one company I use often and when I call they know me by name. They're probably thinking "That crazy gringa..." I get one driver often, named Juan. He talks to me a lot in slower Spanish, which is very encouraging. He always asks me questions about the US and tells me how he wants to take his family there to visit. And to Italy.

Taxi drivers crack me up. They each decorate their dashboard differently like people in offices decorate their desks. Becky commented recently how a coffee table book could be made out of pictures of taxi drivers' dashboards. From pictures to rosaries to air fresheners. Stickers, homemade stuff and carpet. Each taxi interior is different. One guy had two vent air fresheners, a scented tree, vanilla flavored, hanging from his mirror, a can of potpourri spray in the cup holder and two more car air fresheners sitting on top of his dash board. And he had a rosary stuck to the front of the dashboard.

I've had two taxi rides that were very scary. The first one was the crazy air freshener guy. He picked me up from Becky's house which is on the other side of the city from where I live. He drove SO fast it seemed like we were a high speed chase. I had to close my eyes. If it weren't late at night, I would've asked to get out. And then when we got to my place, I was locked in. He had the child safety locks on. I didn't like that ride at all. Just this evening, Nina, Jack and I went to Alto Hospicio to have dinner with some friend, Pilar and her family. That SAME guy picked us up. Alto Hospicio is the next town up into the high desert. Well he drove us to Alto Hospicio with no problem, he didn't even speed. But he couldn't find the address we gave him. He drove around for 30 minutes stopping to ask random people on the street where to go. We had Pilar on the phone and he refused to talk to her and continued to ask random people on the street if they knew where he should go. I asked him a few times if he wanted to talk to Pilar, whose house we were going to. The last time he snapped at me so I shut up. He finally went to a police station and asked for directions and at the same time Pilar stood in the street so we would see her. Grrr....

The second scary ride was this evening on the way back from Alto Hospicio. And it was scary simply because the guy was driving SO fast and we were going down hill, descending into Iquique. If we had hit someone, if we didn't die first, we would've flipped over and fallen WAY down off the side of the road. AND there were no seatbelts in the back seat where I was sitting. But...at least this driver knew where he was going.

Most of the Taxis I've ridden in have not been as bad as the above two described. Many of the drivers are nice and conversational. But it's always an adventure, for sure.

That thar was an earthquake...

So I experience my first earthquake. Not a "first" I wanted to experience. It was a 6.3 on the Richter scale, so not too bad, I'm told, and it was short. My Spanish teacher was still here, my class was about over. Luckily, she's lived in Iquique for awhile, so she's used to them. She pulled me into the hallway of the apartment building-we just happened to be sitting next to the door so it was easy for us to do that. The ceiling lamps were swinging, things were rattling. It felt like I was standing next to a speaker at a rave. The feeling of bass, pumping through my body. But without the loudness of the music. Maybe some music would've been nice. Hmmm...

Roach wars and painting

So, the apartment I'm staying in is infested with cockroaches. Blah. It's been a battle since day one. I've had to keep my suitcases closed at all times and all food goes in the fridge, even cereal and cookies. I sleep with my earbuds in my ears so they won't crawl in them, even if I'm not listening to my Ipod. I've gone through two and a half cans of bug spray. But finally last night, Alisa, a volunteer who came to Iquique four years ago and never left, told me of this "special powder." She and her boyfriend gave me a small bag and an old toothbrush and told me to sort of flick the toothbrush so a cloud of powder lands on the back of the roach. Don't kill the roach, they told me, but let the roach then take it back to their friends. So imagine if you will, me, armed with a toothbrush and a bag of white powder, with a determined look on my face, ready to hunt. Before last night, I didn't want to see them. Oh but now, I wanted them all to come out. This battle has reached a new level since one of them came into bed with me a couple nights ago. So I "powdered" a bunch of them last night. And went to sleep peacefully. This morning I woke up thinking I'd see maybe one or two, but not one single cockroach was in sight! Amazing. Now this evening I've seen a couple and they've been "powdered" already, but in general, there is a great decline in the population of cockroaches in this apartment. Hmmm...I hope my new apartment doesn't have any.

Speaking of new apartment, I hopefully will be going to look at one on Friday. If not this one, there are a few other possibilities.

Today, I painted at Second Methodist Church. That's where I went to church on Sunday and where the CEREIMI project is held. Nina and I painted and Jack, Walt and the Pastor worked on welding and other things. I like this dry heat WAY better than the humidity I'm accustomed to. In fact I'm rather enjoying the weather. But painting IN the sun, was exhausting. I was very good (*ahem* MOM) and kept sunblock on and only got a little pink on my face.

Oh, I don't think I've told y'all much details about what I'm going to be doing. Before I came, I had been given descriptions of three possibilities, but now I have a definite which is doing programming for the CEREIMI project. The kids go to the project after school and have lunch. I will be coordinating the activities they do after lunch and how many volunteers will be needed, etc. Probably arts and crafts type stuff, as space is limited. I'm waiting for the person who has the key to the closet where the supplies are, to return from vacation. A bunch of stuff has been donated and I'll go through it and see what I can come up with. The kids here are not in school b/c it's their summer. So the project doesn't start back up until March, and then it goes until December. I'm excited but very nervous too.

My Spanish is getting a little better. I'm afraid I'm going to lose my Portuguese though. I had my first class yesterday and I have my second class tomorrow.

That's all for now folks. I'll write more soon.

Pachica and more

Today I went with a couple of Gringos and a Chilean to pick up a table saw in Pichica, which is about a couple hours away, through the desert and in a canyon, in the middle of nowhere, or so it seemed to a city girl. We had to drive through a creek or two to get there. There is an Agricultural School there, part of EMANA called Instituto Agricola Kusayapu. EMANA is the project that I'm working under. It was a beautiful drive. The desert doesn't have vegetation in many areas, unlike in the U.S. and Mexico. And all along the way, we'd see stacked stones, which is a way for people to ask the spirits permission to pass. Also saw dust whirlwinds. At the agricultural school, there were rabbits, goats, pigs, alpaca, gardens, a workshop, and probably more that I didn't see. It's closed right now, to be opened in 2009, but it is still being maintained, etc. One of the past students was one of the guys who was working customs at the airport when I came in. He was the one who asked me if I had brought any plants or food into Chile.

These pictures are on the way to Pichica:



Going into the canyon:






The river we drove through:






Geoglyph call "the Atacama Giant:"





Two Gringos, Nina and Jack from Illinois have been coming to Iquique for sixteen years on work teams. They have a strong relationship with some of the Chileans. They've been here since December and will be here until March. They are going to start on the church windows tomorrow. Nina made lasagna and salad this evening that was absolutely delicious. Another Gringo, Walt, from Tuscaloosa, has been here for awhile too, four months I think. He's considering going home to do some training with Volunteer In Missions and then returning to do some work in Pachica. People seem to come here and fall in love with Iquique. I think it's awesome that these Gringos have such wonderful relationships with people here and vice versa. Gringos come and do some construction, but it's not just a one time thing. Over time, they've become like family to the Chileans and vice versa. Some of the Chileans have been to the states to visit too.

I felt my first tremor today. It felt like a truck going by, in fact I wouldn't have noticed if someone hadn't pointed it out. I'm told they happen everyday, but if you are moving around, you don't really notice. I'm in earthquake territory. Yikes.

Well that's all for now.

Venturing out...

So today I ventured out alone. I decided that I've had enough of my lovely friends, Las Cucarachas, so I walked to Hiper Lider and got some Bug spray as well as a few other things. Hiper Lider is like a Super Walmart, but not. Before I went out, some university students were going door to door educating people on health (I think). A reminder of how crappy my Spanish is. Everything I try to say comes out in Portuguese and I get flustered. I've decided it's easier to tell people that I don't speak Spanish, but that would be a cop out and then how would I learn. I got to thinking about something that I've thought about many times before when I've been in other countries, which is, how much more patient people are here of my horrible speaking and comprehension skills than Americans are in the reverse situation. How easy it is to get flustered! If only all English-speaking Americans could experience this and then perhaps have some compassion for those who don't speak English or those who pretend that they don't. No wonder they pretend that.
It's all good though b/c I start language lessons next week and I haven't even been around Chileans socially yet-that's when I'll improve. It is only my second full day.

Arriving in Iquique

The trip to Iquique was long. It started in DC at National Airport. My mom, Grandparents, and cousin Kathy came to see me off. As I was saying goodbye to go through security, the tears came. I can't believe I'm not going to see them for a year! Wow.

The first part of my trip was to Miami. The lady who sat next to me is a lawyer working for a security company-something to do a security device against drug trafficking. Very interesting. I slept most of the way to Miami. Then once I got there I had a six hour layover. I ate and found a place to hang out and thought that it was going to be forever that I'd be waiting but it wasn't b/c this lady from Atlanta sat down in front of me and we started talking. And talking and talking. And then the couple sitting next to us who are from LA joined in. And before I knew it, it was time to go to the gate.

The flight from Miami to La Paz was long but I was able to sleep most of the time. Before I went to sleep though, the people next to me Jimena and her mother-I forget her name. Jimena was about my age. They were returning to La Paz from Arlington, VA where they were visiting her brother. Jimena's mother didn't speak English so when she found out I was going to be spending a year in Iquique she insisted that I speak Spanish to practice. They were so nice, Jimena reminded me of my Brazilian friend, Aline. They gave me their phone numbers and told me that I should go to La Paz and visit them for a weekend. I just might do that!

The only part of the traveling that was not good, was my time in La Paz airport. I had about a five hour layover, and I had altitude sickness. I couldn't breathe, my lungs actually hurt, I was light-headed and I felt like I had the flu. I wanted to sleep and I kept dozing off and almost falling out of my chair, but when I tried to walk around to wake myself up, I felt like I was going to pass out. When I tried to take deeper breaths of air, I started seeing black spots as if I were hyperventilating. I remembered hearing that coca leaves help with altitude sickness and wished I had some. So I got an espresso and ate some lemon cookies from the plane instead. The espresso was only $1! And it was three times the amount of the usual size from Starbucks. After that, I felt a little better, but still horrible. So finally it was time to go to the boarding area. I looked around and saw lots of Australians and Germans as well as Chileans. Two Australians that I talked to were on there way back to Australia from Bolivia and Peru and gave me a good company to go through if I go to Machu Pichu. It was a little easier to stay awake in this area because there were kids running around me making lots of noise. We finally boarded and I slept most of the way to Iquique. When I woke up, my altitude sickness was mostly gone.

When I arrived at Iquique, I panicked b/c I realized I had left Becky's address at home. But the immigration dude didn't seem to care that I had left the address blank and I got through with no problem. I didn't have to pay anything, not even an entrance fee. I had finally arrived in Iquique! The Atacama desert was the first thing I saw and it was amazing! It's like mountains, but it's sand. I'll post pics eventually. Becky met me after I went through security and took me to where I'll be staying until I get my own apartment. So I'm currently staying at British Methodist missionaries' apartment while they are out of the country. On the way, we drove by the ocean and once we got into Iquique (the airport is out a little), she showed me where her apartment is and pointed out a few other places that I will probably have to learn again.

After a quick bath, Becky took me to the mall and the grocery store. The grocery store is within walking distance but also as a taxi service if you have to much groceries to carry and don't have a car. It's like a Super Walmart, but it's not Walmart thank goodness. They sell all kinds of things. The mall has a food court and we had lunch there. It was yummy Chilean food. They had my favorite salad that my Chilean friend Victor used to always make!

Today, my second day in Iquique, I slept in pretty late b/c I was so exhausted from traveling. Then, Becky picked me up and took me to the EMANA office and to a market near the center of town. Then we drove to Zofri, a duty-free trade zone where there is a big mall. We ate lunch and she picked up a few things. She also told me about the taxis and buses and other things. Tomorrow, I think I'm going to be venturing out on my own to explore and pick up a few things that I need. Here's a few pictures of the view from my apartment:


The Atacama Desert:

"you guys"

So, on Tuesday, I was hanging out with who I lovingly refer to the "DC ladies," Katy, Rebecca, and Jamie. They are three of my fellow YAMs (Young Adult Missionary) in the US-2 program. (Which means they will be in the US for 2 years-their placements are in DC) I noticed myself saying "you guys" this and "you guys that." I've always used this phrase no matter if I'm talking to males or females. Why is that? Is it a regional thing or is it just me? I cringe inside whenever I say it, I always have. But I don't seem to be able to stop myself from saying it. Not that it's some nasty phrase or curse word, but why would I say "you guys" to three ladies? Hmmm...I guess this is something I'll have to work on. Maybe speaking Spanish for a year will cure me of it.

BTW, technicalities have been worked out and I'm definitely leaving on Tuesday.

UPDATE!!!

Hello friends,
As most of you know, I have been preparing and waiting for my visa for four months to go to Brazil through the General Board of Global Ministries of the United Methodist Church. It has been a time of frustration, but of intense growth as well. I've been able to spend time with friends and family and I've learned how to live in the present and I've learned a great deal of patience.

Last week, a decision was made that if my visa didn't arrive by Friday, I was going to cancel the process and go to another country. Well, it didn't arrive. Although I felt peace about the decision to cancel while it was just an idea, it was a really emotional ordeal when it actually happened. I'd been preparing mentally and spiritually to go to Brazil, where I have friends and am familiar with the project. I'd been studying Portuguese and buying things according to Brazilian culture and climate. My heart is in Brazil. For those of you who know me well, you know how true this is. All of a sudden, on Friday afternoon, all of that was gone. It was devastating.

But also on Friday, my supervisor at GBGM told me that they were considering putting me in Chile, in a place called Iquique. It's almost directly west of Nova Almeida on the map, on the Pacific coast. Follow the 20 degree latitude line across from Vitoria, Brazil, and you will find Iquique, Chile. A placement was proposed to me on Friday as well, and I was given the weekend for discernment.
Today is Monday and I've decided that yes, I'm going to Iquique, Chile. I will be leaving very soon, as long as a few technicalities are worked out: January 22nd! I will be flying out of National in DC to Miami, then La Paz, Bolivia, then Iquique. I will be going on a tourist visa and going into Peru and back every 90 days to renew the visa. Iquique is very dry, only getting one and a half inches of rain every 12 years. It's next to the Atacama desert and the Pacific Ocean. I'm told that it's a city of 250 to 300,000 people.

I will be working under Becky Harrell. Her Mission Biography is at: http://new.gbgm-umc.org/work/missionaries/biographies/index.cfm?action=details&id=1134
I'll have the option of three programs. I'll be able to spend time with each and decide which I would like to focus on. The first is called "Serenity." It's an after-school tutoring and lunch program. The second is EMANA. I would be a liaison between U.S. medical teams and the communities. And the third one is called CAF and it's a family violence center.

So, although I am heartbroken, I am excited too. I feel a peace but I'm definitely not done with Brazil, so there must be a good reason for me to have this experience in Chile at this point in my life.

Thank you for prayers and support.